911 Quotes by P. J. O'Rourke

The problem isn't a Congress that won't cut spending or a president who won't raise taxes. The problem is an American public with a bottomless sense of entitlement to federal money.

Politics is the art of achieving prestige and power without merit.

In theory, taxes should be like shopping. What I buy is government services. What I pay are my taxes.

There is parody, when you make fun of people who are smarter than you; satire, when you make fun of people who are richer than you; and burlesque, when you make fun of both while taking your clothes off.

The good thing about SUVs is they have storage.

Sometimes the right response to evil is an appeal to powerful and effective social organization - an appeal to civilization itself.

Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.

We did not become libertarians because we are altruists.

The French are sawed-off sissies who eat snails and slugs and cheese that smells like people's feet. Utter cowards who force their own children to drink wine, they gibber like baboons even when you try to speak to them in their own wimpy language.