911 Quotes by P. J. O'Rourke

Mistreatment of al Qaeda members and their friends and hangers-on is something I number among my moral concerns. But it's number 1,000,000,001.

Liberals are always proposing perfectly insane ideas, laws that will make everybody happy, laws that will make everything right, make us live forever, and all be rich. Conservatives are never that stupid.

There are plenty of problems in the world, and doubtless climate change - or whatever the currently voguish phrase for it all is - certainly is one of them. But it's low on my list.

Affirmative action makes employers think, 'Black woman nuclear physicist? Hah! Probably let her into Harvard 'cause they were looking for a twofer. Bet she got C's in high school practical math. Give her a job in personnel.'

The very existence of the bicycle is an offense to reason and wisdom.

The real alternative to power of the rich is not power of the poor. It's just plain power.

The Three Branches of Government: Money, Television, and Bullshit

Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.

Mikhail Gorbachev was the Jimmy Carter of the Communist bloc. The Russians hate him.