I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm not expecting it.

He looks like a horse in a man costume!

I was fat! I was pustule-rich! I looked like a pink human grenade! When did I blossom into the irresistible little orchid that I am now? I don't know. Getting taller helps. It spreads out a bit.

Now I'm not an expert at mathematics, but I calculated it would take at least three of me to take on one third of one of them, even if they were attacking me with just their arse.

Wow this place is really big isn't it? They must do proper stuff here, like opera and all that...shite.

I think that women just have a primeval instinct to make soup, which they will try to foist on anybody who looks like a likely candidate.

Kids, they are always hurting themselves. It's like, "Quick, get me to casualty quick!" while your doing something important like sitting down picking your ear.

Cooking? Oh we were great, you'd take anything and melt cheese on it, and the one who could guess what it was didn't have to wash up!

Organic? I grew up on Angel Delight. We didn't have anything in the house if it wasn't neon!