The heart betrays the mind by thinking for itself.

You describe her as an Eden. This rare, unknowable place. Distant.And you tell me to wear her skin but I refuse.I shift in my seat. Distant.What is it about the men that go looking for old lovers in new women. And why is it that they always want you to touch them like she touched them. Wear her head like a show piece. Use her words as lipstick.

Sometimes I fall for the mystery, thinking what I am falling for is the man.

I do not want to touch your heart with dirty hands because you are a prayer. A thing I asked the heavens for. My light that guides the way. And I do not know how else to tell you that I love you but to listen when you speak. Feel your pain when you are hurting. Tell you I miss you when you are not with me.

Lately, everything in my universe has made it hard to forget. I look at this new man sure he is everything I once wanted. But body does not feel the same when it is not my third or fourth hand holding it.The sweetness of an apple is not the sweetness of a grape.There is no tingle when he says name.No spark when he touches skin.We are not twins, Ejima.He is not you and I am not him.

Too much?” You laugh because you know it is untrue.One can never be too much for a person that can never get enough of them.

Painful habits:1. Forgetting friends to lose myself in lovers.Remembering them only when love is lost again. 2. Knowing that real love does not need convincing but trying anyway. 3. Building castles of projections, making pedestals out of dreams.4. Crowning temporary visitors Kings.

Somewhere between pride and heart lies the ego. The heart says I love you for what I can do for you. The ego says I love you for what you can do for me.

My love says I am not a fool but I will play dumb for you. He tells me sweet nothings and calls only on the weekends. On Mondays I find our love in a bottle. On Tuesdays it clouds a Joint. He texts to confirm plans.Tells me to shave downstairs for next time.And I listen. Because I am young. Naïve.A little bit desperate and kind of hungry.There is this way he almost loves me.It's never enough but I always stay.