Writing with a biro is the emotional equivalent of giving your loved one a plastic rose on Valentine’s Day.

Think about it: send SLASH receive. Email is the frenzied killer of proper communication.

Vintage fountain pens have provenance that makes a traditionalist go weak at the knuckles.

I take pride in using fountain pens. They represent craftsmanship and a love of writing. Biros, on the other hand, represent the throwaway culture of modern society, which exists on microwave ready-meals and instant coffee.

How is your handwriting?” I ask. “Do you write in pencil or pen?” They stare back at me with squinting eyes and a look that needs no words. “Get with it granddad.

Text talk? How can the art of writing, once performed by monastic scribes, have degenerated into little more than creative candyfloss?