Eh, Whappaaaa!

Whoever is my relative, I will not be nice to them.

It's a great day in America when white people, black people and Latinos can all come together and pick on another minority.

This is L.A. You wanna learn Spanish? Take the bus.

Presents? We already bought you a lot of things. Member when we were at the market and I bought you gum? You'member.

Y'know, if those pews reclined, and the priests gave the Raiders scores I'd go to church every Sunday.

Barack Obama may be black, but John McCain is the first Albino presidential candidate: he's completely see-through!

From now on, we're home schooling you. Whatever we don't know, you don't know. When did the Korean War start? I don't know, and neither do you!

if you make waffles, throw out the first one.