Succotash my cocker spaniel, you fudging crevasse-hole dipshiitake!

Grandfather informs me that is not possible.

I will describe my eyes and then begin the story. My eyes are blue and resplendent. Now I will begin the story.

This is the sixty-nine," I told him, presenting the magazine in front of him. I put my fingers -- two of them -- on the action, so that he would not overlook it. "Why is it dubbed sixty-nine?" he asked, because he is a person hot on fire with curiosity. "It was invented in 1969. My friend Gregory knows a friend of the nephew of the inventor." "What did people do before 1969?" "Merely blowjobs and masticating box, but never in chorus.

I know a lot about birds and bees, but I don't know very much about the birds and the bees. Everything I do know I had to teach myself on the Internet, because I don't have anyone to ask. For example, I know that you give someone a blowjob by putting your penis in their mouth.

...only someone who'd never been an animal would put up a sign saying not to feed them....

There are many premium writers, yes? Tolstoy, yes? He wrote War, and also Peace, which are both premium books.

I really have a piece-of-shit car." "Is it brown?" "No, it's an expression." "How can a car be an expression?

Long before man traveled into space, rabbis debated how one would observe Shabbat there-not because they anticipated space travel but because Buddhists strive to live with questions and Jews would rather die.