What I lack in brilliance, I more than make up for in glitter

It's not that I'm ahead of my time, it's more that the world is running late

The practice of doing more than necessary works best when packing lunch boxes

Maturity is when you no longer get the urge to make snow angels in mud season

If a picture paints a thousand words, then a naked picture paints a thousand words without any vowels....

Some people are so positive, that when they slip in dog poop, they pirouette

Women, can't live with them, can't murder/suicide without them

Patience is learning to take a deep breath while you’re exhaling

Revenge is a dish best served in something microwaveable