It was masturbation, not willpower, that made it possible for gazillions of women to walk down the aisle with their reputation and their hymen still intact.

The primary goal of a righteous parent who has a daughter is to minimize the number of boys and men for whom their daughter will have willingly opened her legs come her wedding day; the closer to zero, the more righteous they will seem.

It is a sign of immaturity to believe that being older than someone (automatically) makes you more (mentally) mature than them.

Our parents would not be ‘The best parents in the world’ (to us) if they were not our parents.

Being older deceives us into thinking that we are experts at being the ages we used to be.

Taking good care of your husband or wife is the best way to thank their parent or parents for having taken good care of them.

There would definitely be way fewer instances of cheating, if the average couple did not have sex only when the woman feels like it.

Being a bad parent is a sign of not having learned from experience.

When a man's girlfriend's parents ask him what it is that he does for a living: they’re not really concerned about him; they’re concerned about their daughter’s tummy.