To a man, a woman is fun to be with … until she gains weight. To a woman, a man is fun to live with … until he loses his job.

Some women do not masturbate for pleasure; they masturbate to make a political statement: to remind us that women do not really need men (or at least not as much and as frequently as every single male chauvinist and every single misogynist believes).

It was masturbation, not willpower, that made it possible for gazillions of women to walk down the aisle with their reputation and their hymen still intact.

Some women have been faking orgasms for so long that they sometimes fake one when they are masturbating.

12% of people marry because they are completely in love. 88% of people marry just so they are then liable for only half of their rent.

Men pay for sex. Women pay with sex.

Men are born with nothing with which to buy. Women are born with something to sell.

The only ‘problems’ that we can truly solve through sex are that of never having had sex with anyone, and that of never having had sex with someone.

For men, sex is free only in theory.