Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time" so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.