Get on your knees when you talk to the Lord. Do not call yourself praying by lying in the bed thinking. Thinking and praying are two different things, and for something this important, you need prayer.

...I was aware that she didn't belong to me. I didn't mean that, on paper at least, she was another's man's wife. If you knew her, you would know that she never belonged to him either. I'm not sure if she even realized it herself, but she's the kind of woman that will never belong to anyone.

Maybe that's what it means to be in love, to willingly be at the mercy of another person.