It takes time to cook a book with ingredients that hook.

If your undies hold your ‘gadgets’ hostage, you need a handsome ransom; freedom includes ventilating your ‘facilities’.

If they show you pepper, show them tomatoes; with onions and salt available, you’ll soon become friends on a spicy pot of stew.

Don’t ever mess with a woman on a mission else she’ll teach you the difference between welfare and warfare. If you must mess, use the toilet.

A good friend may not 'disappear' your problems, but he will certainly not disappear when problems appear.

Consistently saying something instead of something-else is ‘matriculation’ into insanity. If symptoms ‘insist’, ‘construct’ your doctor before ‘convocation’.

Some creditors will sing blues to lure you into debt and when you put on you dancing shoes, you’ll be compelled to dance electric shock.

An athlete with a running nose and a running stomach is fortunate. If he combines these ‘runnings’ with a pair of running legs, he is set to run to infinity with the speed of light. He has no rival.

If you cannot display gloominess when announcing obituary, better eat bitter kola with garlic beforehand and beforeleg.