504 Quotes About Joke

If we had to earn our age by thinking for ourselves at least once a year, only a handful of people would reach adulthood.

The trouble with aggressive nonsmokers is that they feel they are doing you a favor by not allowing you to smoke. They seem to think that one day you'll look back and thank them for those precious fifteen seconds they just added to your life. What they don't understand is that those are just fifteen more seconds you can spend hating their guts and plotting revenge.

When in doubt, poke the beehive with a stick to see if anything interesting flies out.I clapped my hands. 'I had no idea Pit teams had such pretty cheerleaders. Can you do it again, but with more spirit this time?

Nothing is as irritating to a shy man as a confident girl.

Jack didn’t fully get Jesus. Audrey tried to explain it, and he could repeat it back to her, word for word, but he still didn’t comprehend most of it. The best he could gather was that Jesus lived long ago, told people to be nice, and they killed him for it. At the end, he asked who was Jesus’ necromancer and if he was in the Bible, then Kaldar couldn’t stop laughing and had to sit down.

Every single person is a fool, insane, a failure, or a bad person to at least ten people.

It is still cheating, even if nobody comes.

Looking but not seeing is the hearing but not understanding of the eye.

A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it.