44 Quotes by A. P. Herbert

The Common Law of England has been laboriously built about a mythical figure-the figure of 'The Reasonable Man'.

There is no reason why a joke should not be appreciated more than once. Imagine how little good music there would be if, for example, a conductor refused to play Beethoven's Fifth Symphony on the ground that his audience might have heard it before.

Let's stop somebody from doing something! Everybody does too much.

Harriet, Hi! Light of my eye! Come to the pictures and have a good cry, For it's jolly old Saturday, Mad-as-a-hatter-day, Nothing-much-matter-day-night!

An act of God was defined as something which no reasonable man could have expected.

Let's find out what everyone is doing, And then stop everyone from doing it.

Citizens who take it upon themselves to do unusual actions which attract the attention of the police should be careful to bring these actions into one of the recognized categories of crimes and offences, for it is intolerable that the police should be put to the pains of inventing reasons for finding them undesirable.

Well, fancy giving money to the Government! Might as well have put it down the drain.

aven, I have given up smoking again!... God! I feel fit. Homicidal, but fit. A different man. Irritable, moody, depressed, rude, nervy, perhaps; but the lungs are fine.