133 Quotes by Aasif Mandvi

It is ironic that it doesn’t matter how successful I am in any other capacity. Ultimately, my parents marker is do you have a wife? And do you have children?

I’ve always said I’m the worst representative of Muslim-Americans that’s ever existed, because I’ve been inside more bars than mosques.

Profanity is the chili pepper of language. If used by an idiot or a clod, it can overwhelm the discourse so the meaning is lost, but if used by a linguistic master chef, it can insert a piquant passion to the point where even though your ears may burn and you may want to rinse your mouth out, you cannot say it doesn’t sound delicious.

In America, you have this kind of individualism and in the West, essentially, you have this individualism – this idea of my own personal fulfillment.

It’s an ironic thing about being an immigrant kid, growing up – ’cause I grew up in the UK and went to a British boarding school and we would go to chapel every Sunday morning. And we’d actually have religious studies and religious studies means Christian studies where you study the Bible.

I think I discovered my first, you know, my first image of a naked woman was sort of sneaking a peek at one of those magazines that was in my dad’s store.

When my family decided to leave England I could not have been happier. I was sort of like – America seemed like the land of opportunity and, you know, it was Hollywood to me.

When I was 11 my friend’s mom made a peanut butter sandwich. I ate the sandwich and was like, ‘I’m never eating anything else again.’ And I still eat peanut butter every day. I would put peanut butter on a steak.

I’m Muslim the way many of my Jewish friends are Jewish: I avoid pork, and I take the big holidays off.