244 Quotes by Adam Carolla

I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they’re making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.

Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they’re so suggestible.

We have brains and we have books.

Unfinished Beer Guy: I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a party on a Saturday night, and then walk around for an hour on Sunday morning, tearfully emptying 2,600 unfinished beers. I feel like the guys who removed the bodies from a Civil War battlefield.

We’re a morbidly obese rainbow.

My motto is “more mystery, less history”.

I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.

I’m just a normal guy with some good solid common sense who has zero tolerance for those with zero intelligence.

The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.