244 Quotes by Adam Carolla

If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they’d be off TV. They’re not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we’d know who she was?

To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can’t you do.

A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it’s not a great way to go.

Maybe it’s weird, but I don’t feel in any way, shape or form that I’m taking over his show.

They turn to people who failed out of junior college to tell them they can cure their cancer with purified water and good vibes.

It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.

I’d never hurt another person.

I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.

It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I’ve done so much morning radio that I won’t be overwhelmed by it, but it’s still going to be a challenge.