284 Quotes by Adam Sandler

I don’t laugh at me. I used to. I used to get the giggles when I’d see myself. But now, I see myself onscreen, and I sure don’t laugh.

Of course, I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It’s the coolest.

I don’t like being on a horse. That’s the only negative of doing a Western. I like the whole get up, and I look great in a hat. But I get tense around horses. So, if they could make a fake horse, then I’d do a Western.

My comedy is different every time I do it. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.

I read to my kid, but I can’t stand reading.

I don’t know who I touch and who I don’t. I work hard trying to make people laugh. I try to do the kind of stuff that made me laugh growing up. I don’t have any secrets. I don’t know the reasons I’ve been so well received.

I’m 31 now. I think I’m beginning to understand what life is, what romance is, and what a relationship means.

Well I have a microphone and you don’t so you will listen to every damn word I have to say!

I still like doing stand-up now, but it’s not the same. It used to be that I was out there with five other comedians. Now I usually just do it alone.