245 Quotes by Al Yankovic

In a genre where most of the artists are one-hit wonders, I've been able to hang around longer than most "serious" acts. I pride myself in being a very talented leech.

That's a big part of my life - doing things that I'm not prepared to do. Doing things that I don't know how to do, and keep doing them until I get good at them. I always try to put myself out of my comfort zone and out of my depth, and hopefully somewhere along the line I'll catch up.

He put Ben Gay inside my jock strap and filled my tooth paste tube up with glue.

Got a brand new semi-automatic weapon with a laser sight. Oh, I'm praying that somebody tries to break in here tonight.

When I swore that you're getting more and more beautiful everyday. Well, I was only kidding, honey.

I've always known that if I recorded an album, it would come out, and people would enjoy it! Whereas if I wrote a movie script, chances are better than even that I'd just be another guy in L.A. with a movie script in his drawer.

Didn't have Nintendo, we just poured salt on snails.

My brothers and sisters hated me because I was an only child.

Ever since the day you left me, I've been so miserable, my dear. I feel almost as bad as I did when you were still here.