233 Quotes by Alan Bennett

I tried to explain to her the significance of the great poet, but without much success, The Waste Land not figuring very largely in Mam's scheme of things. "The thing is," I said finally, "he won the Nobel Prize." "Well," she said, with that unerring grasp of inessentials which is the prerogative of mothers, "I'm not surprised. It was a beautiful overcoat."

We have fish and chips, which W. and I fetch from the shop in Settle market-place. Some local boys come in and there is a bit of chat between them and the fish-fryer about whether the kestrel under the counter is for sale. Only when I mention it to W. does he explain Kestrel is now a lager. I imagine the future is going to contain an increasing number of incidents like this, culminating with a man in a white coat saying to one kindly, "And now can you tell me the name of the Prime Minister?"

I’ve never seen the point of the sea, except where it meets the land. The shore has a point. The sea has none.

I’m not “happy” but I’m not unhappy about it.

One seldom was able to do her a good turn without some thoughts of strangulation.

Life is rather like a tin of sardines – we’re all of us looking for the key.

You don’t put your life into your books, you find it there.

One recipe for happiness is to have no sense of entitlement.

Standards are always out of date. That’s what makes them standards.