34 Quotes by Alan Simpson

Grandchildren now don't write a thank you for the Christmas presents. They are walking on their pants with their cap on backward, listening to the Enema Man and Snoopy, Snoopy Poop Dog.

There is no "slippery slope" toward loss of liberties, only a long staircase where each step downward must first be tolerated by the American people and their leaders.

Whatever he does, Dick will do it his own way, because whatever he does, it will be the subject of ridicule.

Here we can brag and bluster and blather and almost like a comic book character you could invent, Captain Bombast, pull the cape around the shoulders and shout the magic words, "Get him." And rise above it all in a blast of hot air.

I think we have to set a date for withdrawal. The January elections (in Iraq) are a natural time.

When it's all through after a few days, people are going to laugh at the media for their overreaction.

You'd like to stick it in his gazoo.

There is more awareness among parents and families and teachers that if we want children to succeed in school, we need to provide good experiences in kindergarten and earlier.

This is one of the greatest thrills of my life. It's a wonderful college where they can teach you everything from Shakespeare to welding, and I'm just glad to be a part of it.