1,237 Quotes by Ambrose Bierce

CUI BONO? [Latin] What good would that do "me"?

POLITICIAN, n. An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles, he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice.

ASS, n. A public singer with a good voice but no ear.

Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.

QUOTIENT, n. A number showing how many times a sum of money belonging to one person is contained in the pocket of another - usually about as many times as it can be got there.

Abnormal, adj. Not conforming to standard. In matters of thought and conduct, to be independent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be detested.

When in Rome, do as Rome does.

TARIFF, n. A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.

Hurry n: The dispatch of bunglers.