1,237 Quotes by Ambrose Bierce

NOUMENON, n. That which exists, as distinguished from that which merely seems to exist, the latter being a phenomenon. The noumenon is a bit difficult to locate; it can be apprehended only by a process of reasoning – which is a phenomenon.

FROG, n. A reptile with edible legs.

Something that is supposed to typify or stand for something else. Many symbols are mere “survivals” – as funereal urns carved on memorial monuments. We cannot stop making them, but we can give them a name that conceals our helplessness.

Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.

A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms against himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.

The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up.

Acquaintance is a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor and obscure, and intimate when he is rich and famous.

A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker.

No more the swindler singly seeks his prey; / To hunt in couples is the modern way / A rascal, from the public to purloin, / An honest man to hide away the coin.