1,237 Quotes by Ambrose Bierce

ANTAGONIST, n. The miserable scoundrel who won't let us.

No hay nada nuevo bajo el sol, pero hay muchas cosas viejas que nosotros no sabemos.

Oyster, n. A slimy, gobby shellfish which civilization gives men the hardihood to eat without removing its entrails!

Cribbage, n. A substitute for conversation among those to whom nature has denied ideas.

Acquaintance: "A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. A degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous.

Si deseas que tus sueños se hagan realidad, ¡despierta!

Over all was that air of abandonment and decay which seems nowhere so fit and significant as in a village of the forgotten dead.

PITIFUL, adj. The state of an enemy or opponent after an imaginary encounter with oneself.

AMERICANISM, n. 1) The desire to purge America of all those qualities which make it a more or less tolerable place in which to live; 2) The ability to simultaneously kiss ass, follow your boss's orders, swallow a pay cut, piss in a bottle, cower in fear of job loss, and brag about your freedom.