1,237 Quotes by Ambrose Bierce

Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.

Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.

INJUSTICE, n. A burden which of all those that we load upon others and carry ourselves is lightest in the hands and heaviest upon the back.

An archbishop is an ecclesiastical dignitary one point holier than a bishop.

PLATONIC, adj. Pertaining to the philosophy of Socrates. Platonic Love is a fool's name for the affection between a disability and a frost.

Woman absent is woman dead.

Age is provident because the less future we have the more we fear it.

renown, n. A degree of distinction between notoriety and fame - a little more supportable than the one and a little more intolerable than the other. Sometimes it is conferred by an unfriendly and inconsiderate hand.

Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.