1,237 Quotes by Ambrose Bierce

ELECTOR, n. One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man's choice.

LEAD, n. A heavy blue-gray metal much used in giving stability to light lovers - particularly to those who love not wisely but other men's wives.

predicament, n. The wage of consistency.

A malefactor who atones for making your writing nonsense by permitting the compositor to make it unintelligible.

Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes to be considered wrong, wicked, immoral.

ACKNOWLEDGE, v.t. To confess. Acknowledgment of one another's faults is the highest duty imposed by our love of truth.

adherent, n. A follower who has not yet obtained all that he expects to get.

DEINOTHERIUM, n. An extinct pachyderm that flourished when the Pterodactyl was in fashion. The latter was a native of Ireland, its name being pronounced Terry Dactyl or Peter O'Dactyl, as the man pronouncing it may chance to have heard it spoken or seen it printed.