1,237 Quotes by Ambrose Bierce

ROMANCE, n. Fiction that owes no allegiance to the God of Things as They Are. In the novel the writer's thought is tethered to probability, but in romance it ranges at will over the entire region of the imagination . . .

You cannot adopt politics as a profession and remain honest.

RUSSIAN, n. A person with a Caucasian body and a Mongolian soul. A Tartar Emetic.

Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.

picture, n. A representation in two dimensions of something wearisome in three.

Economy, n. Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.

In forgiving an injury be somewhat ceremonious, lest your magnanimity be construed as indifference.

Inexpedient: Not calculated to advance one's interests.

A single swallow, it is said, devours ten millions of insects every year. The supplying of these insects I take to be a signal instance of the Creator's bounty in providing for the lives of His creatures.