1,237 Quotes by Ambrose Bierce

The clarinet is a musical instrument the only thing worse than which is two.

TRUCE, n. Friendship.

OLD, adj. In that stage of usefulness which is not inconsistent with general inefficiency, as an "old man". Discredited by lapse of time and offensive to the popular taste, as an "old" book.

I keep a conscience uncorrupted by religion, a judgment undimmed by politics and patriotism, a heart untainted by friendships and sentiments unsoured by animosities.

applause, n. The echo of a platitude.

Absence blots people out. We really have no absent friends.

EXPOSTULATION, n. One of the many methods by which fools prefer to lose their friends.

Brain, v. [as in "to brain"]: To rebuke bluntly, but not pointedly; to dispel a source of error in an opponent.

IMPENITENCE, n. A state of mind intermediate in point of time between sin and punishment.