1,237 Quotes by Ambrose Bierce

critic, n. A person who boasts himself hard to please because nobody tries to please him.

IMPOSTOR n. A rival aspirant to public honors.

ANTIPATHY, n. The sentiment inspired by one's friend's friend.

Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one's neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.

Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors.

DAY, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. This period is divided into two parts, the day proper and the night, or day improper - the former devoted to sins of business, the latter consecrated to the other sort.

aim, n. The task we set our wishes to.

PRESENTABLE, adj. Hideously appareled after the manner of the time and place.

A man who piously shuts himself up to meditate upon the sin of wickedness and to keep it fresh in his mind joins a brotherhood of awful examples.