1,237 Quotes by Ambrose Bierce

Immoral" is the judgment of the stalled ox on the gamboling lamb.

WOMAN, n. An animal usually living in the vicinity of Man, and having a rudimentary susceptibility to domestication.

ENVY, n. Emulation adapted to the meanest capacity.

Even the laws of justice themselves cannot subsist without mixture of injustice.

Alligator: The crocodile of America, superior in every detail to the crocodile of the effete monarchies of the Old World.

PIG, n. An animal ("Porcus omnivorus") closely allied to the human race by the splendor and vivacity of its appetite, which, however, is inferior in scope, for it sticks at pig.

Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking the honorable obscurity of public office.

A miracle is an act or event out of the order of nature and unaccountable, as beating a normal hand of four kings and an ace with four aces and a king.

NON-COMBATANT, n. A dead Quaker.