1,237 Quotes by Ambrose Bierce

APOTHECARY, n. The physician's accomplice, undertaker's benefactor and grave worm's provider

Gout, a physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient

GENEROUS, adj. Originally this word meant noble by birth and was rightly applied to a great multitude of persons. It now means noble by nature and is taking a bit of a rest.

Christian - One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.

Slang is the speech of him who robs the literary garbage carts on their way to the dumps.

Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo.

I think that I think, therefore I think that I am;

Conversation: A fair for the display of the minor mental commodities, each exhibitor being too intent upon the arrangement of his own wares to observe those of his neighbor.

PRE-ADAMITE, n. One of an experimental and apparently unsatisfactory race of antedated Creation. . . . Little its known of them beyond the fact that they supplied Cain with a wife and theologians with a controversy.