1,237 Quotes by Ambrose Bierce

HYENA, n. A beast held in reverence by some oriental nations from its habit of frequenting at night the burial-places of the dead. But the medical student does that

HASH: There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is.

Twice – Once too often.

LAOCOON, n. A famous piece of antique scripture representing a priest of that name and his two sons in the folds of two enormous serpents. The skill and diligence with which the old man and lads support the serpents and keep them up to their work have been justly regarded as one of the noblest artistic illustrations of the mastery of human intelligence over brute inertia.

PUSH, n. One of the two things mainly conducive to success, especially in politics. The other is Pull.

PIE, n. An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion.

TRUTHFUL, adj. Dumb and illiterate.

While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands, you are safe, for you can watch both his.

TAKE, v.t. To acquire, frequently by force but preferably by stealth.