1,237 Quotes by Ambrose Bierce

Cat: a soft indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

Something that is supposed to typify or stand for something else. Many symbols are mere "survivals" - as funereal urns carved on memorial monuments. We cannot stop making them, but we can give them a name that conceals our helplessness.

Rhubarb: essence of stomach ache.

When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover.

Friendship: A ship big enough for two in fair weather, but only one in foul.

SACRED, adj. Dedicated to some religious purpose; having a divine character; inspiring solemn thoughts or emotions; as... the Cow in India; the Crocodile, the Cat and the Onion of ancient Egypt.

ENTERTAINMENT, n. Any kind of amusement whose inroads stop short of death by injection.

The speech of one who utters with his tongue what he thinks with his ear, and feels the pride of a creator in accomplishing the feat of a parrot. A means (under Providence) of setting up as a wit without a capital of sense.

War: A by-product of the arts of peace.