1,237 Quotes by Ambrose Bierce

CENTAUR, n. One of a race of persons who lived before the division of labor had been carried to such a pitch of differentiation, and who followed the primitive economic maxim, "Every man his own horse."

NOVEL, n. A short story padded...

Salamander: Originally a reptile inhabiting fire; later, an anthropomorphous immortal, but still a pyrophile. Salamanders are now believed to be extinct, the last one of which we have an account having been seen in Carcassonne by the Abbe Belloc, who exorcised it with a bucket of holy water.

The wife, or bitter half.

When among the graves of thy fellows, walk with circumspection; thine own is open at thy feet.

DIARY, n. A daily record of that part of one's life, which he can relate to himself without blushing.

CERBERUS, n. The watch-dog of Hades, whose duty it was to guard the entrance - against whom or what does not clearly appear; everybody, sooner or later, had to go there, and nobody wanted to carry off the entrance.

Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.

Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.