1,237 Quotes by Ambrose Bierce

Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.

Duck-bill, n. Your account at your restaurant during the canvas-back season.

PROBOSCIS, n. The rudimentary organ of an elephant which serves him in place of the knife-and-fork that Evolution has as yet denied him. For purposes of humor it is popularly called a trunk.

Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.

Intolerance is natural and logical, for in every dissenting opinion lies an assumption of superior wisdom.

PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

PRESIDENCY, n. The greased pig in the field game of American politics.

TZETZE (or TSETSE) FLY, n. An African insect ("Glossina morsitans") whose bite is commonly regarded as nature's most efficacious remedy for insomnia, though some patients prefer that of the American novelist ("Mendax interminabilis").