1,237 Quotes by Ambrose Bierce

PERORATION, n. The explosion of an oratorical rocket. It dazzles, but to an observer having the wrong kind of nose its most conspicuous peculiarity is the smell of the several kinds of powder used in preparing it.

Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced.

RECREATION, n. A particular kind of dejection to relieve a general fatigue.

WEAKNESSES, n.pl. Certain primal powers of Tyrant Woman wherewith she holds dominion over the male of her species, binding him to the service of her will and paralyzing his rebellious energies.

Loquacity, n. A disorder which renders the sufferer unable to curb his tongue when you wish to talk.

Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.

PREHISTORIC, adj. Belonging to an early period and a museum. Antedating the art and practice of perpetuating falsehood.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

PLEBEIAN, n. An ancient Roman who in the blood of his country stained nothing but his hands. Distinguished from the Patrician, who was a saturated solution.