177 Quotes by Amy Schumer

I like people who are predictable.

I just have this sense of entitlement that I should be able to feel comfortable at all times, like I could go to bed at any moment in what I'm wearing.

Happiness can't start with external stuff, whether that's money or success or your body.

I love standing at a microphone and making a room of people laugh. That's the part of the work I love; everything else is extraneous.

My regimen is I wake up, usually around 8:30, brush my teeth, and splash water on my face.

What's good about not being a model is that it's not the thing I trade on. Once I start looking older, that won't affect me. I have never gotten anything done because I'm, like, so gorgeous. I'm good-looking enough that I can work in the business.