369 Quotes by Andy Rooney

I am interested in details. If you go into anything far enough, you get into the details of it, and people turn out to be interested in what makes things work.

Where some people may see loving grandparents, I see a pair of feckless boobs who can't drive, take way too long to shop, and don't even have the most basic grasps on the new technology. As a staunch supporter of the principles of Darwinism, I think that advances in modern medicine are starting to overrule the survival of the fittest, and it's to our [youngers'] detriment.

No one ever writes a book in which he is the bad guy.

If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.

I'm already suspicious of anyone who thinks he or she is smart enough to be president. You'd have to have some ego to believe that about yourself.

Conservatives are more religious than liberals--although there is no evidence that they're nicer people because of it.

There are more beauty parlors than there are beauties.

I never understood retirement. What is the attraction of retirement? I go down there to Florida and look around and I said, my God, who wants this? Not me.

Before a kid learns how to use a computer that can solve mathematical problems, he or she should know how to do arithmetic without a computer.