369 Quotes by Andy Rooney

We aren't consistent in our treatment of animals.

I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who think they like our country more than I do. Some people's idea of patriotism is hating other countries.

Art is a by-product of an honest and successful attempt to do something well.

There is obviously a great human need for religion because life seems to be such a mystery.

It's ridiculous for a country to get all worked up about a game—except the Super Bowl, of course. Now that's important.

Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic calling. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.

People like to say, "You're only as old as you feel," but it isn't true. It's just something old people say to make themselves feel good about their age. You're as old as you are.

I've learned... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch.