369 Quotes by Andy Rooney

Finding the tool is often half the battle.

Unfortunately, propaganda works.

Walking is good for the soul.

Most of the people in the world are good and decent if you give them a chance to be ...

Have you noticed that they put advertisements in with your bills now? Like bills aren't distasteful enough, they have to stuff junk mail in there with them. I get back at them. I put garbage in with my check when I mail it in. Coffee grinds, banana peels...I write, "Could you throw this away for me?"

I've learned... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

There are sixteen cans of coffee here; together they hold a total of thirteen and a half pounds of coffee. Doesn't that seem like cheating?

I like animals who trust people.

Every one starts out being an atheist.