369 Quotes by Andy Rooney

We aren’t consistent in our treatment of animals.

Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.

The teacher who knows the most about a subject isn’t necessarily the one who can teach it best.

I mean, I’m not a sexist person, but a woman has no business being down there trying to make some comment about a football game.

Love is more pleasant once you get out of your twenties. It doesn’t hurt all the time.

I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

Democrats believe people are basically good but must be saved from themselves by the government. Republicans believe people are basically bad but they’ll be okay if they’re left alone.

Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn’t have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.

I’m always on the lookout for something good about people. Often months go by.