369 Quotes by Andy Rooney

Most of the people in the world are good and decent if you give them a chance to be...

Don’t rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.

When you get older you have to be careful about always saying, “Things aren’t as good as they used to be.” But it’s hard not to.

I obviously have a knack for getting on paper what a lot of people have thought and didn’t realize they thought. And they say, ‘Hey, yeah!’ And they like that.

The dullest Olympic sport is curling, whatever ‘curling’ means.

Writers don’t retire. I will always be a writer.

Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can’t help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, “How can he want me the way I look in the morning?” It’s because we can’t see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.

Soap, like people, shouldn’t smell like anything.

One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don’t clean it up too quickly.