369 Quotes by Andy Rooney

Conservatives are more religious than liberals – although there is no evidence that they’re nicer people because of it.

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books – how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook.

In a conversation, keep in mind that you’re more interested in what you have to say than anyone else is.

In Washington, a confidential assistant is someone who, if you don’t want to know something, you go and ask him and he won’t tell you.

We should change our attitude toward the United Nations. There has to be some power in the world superior to our own. We should not have attacked Iraq without the okay of the United Nations. Now we have to live with that mistake. We’re living with it, and too many of our guys are dying with it.

Numbers tend to give the impression that there’s more order in the world than there is.

I’m in a position of feeling secure enough so that I can say what I think is right and if so many people think it’s wrong that I get fired, well, I’ve got enough to eat.

I’d like to take some calculus, too. I have absolutely no ability in that direction and not much interest, either, but there’s something going on in mathematics that I don’t understand, and I’d like to find out what it is.

If I’d known how many problems I was going to run into before I finished, I can’t remember a single project I would have started.