369 Quotes by Andy Rooney

We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers.

It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.

A cat's idea of a 'good time' is to kill something.

I've learned ... that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?

Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.

There are only a few safe targets left, just a few groups of people you can say anything negative about without getting in trouble for it. I've made a list of safe targets and I probably ought to stick to those. Politicians, for instance. You can say anything you want about them, and it doesn't matter how unfair you are. People seem to like it.

The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads.