115 Quotes by Art Buchwald

New York was the glamorous town that you only see now in old movies and on Broadway stages. The sky was lit up with dancing neon signs. It was safe to walk out in the streets.

People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, "I'm getting even

Don't commit suicide, because you might change your mind two weeks later.

I don't mind 800 million Chinese drinking a bottle [of Coca-Cola] a day, but I don't want them to bring back the empties.

This is not an easy time for humorists because the government is far funnier than we are.

Sharing our depressions felt like having survived a war. The experience bonds you to the other person for life.

I worship the quicksand he walks in.

When it came to writing about wine, I did what almost everybody does - faked it

Human beings thrive on action. Stagnation does not wear well with us. We are said to have our origins as hunter-gatherers. We run and we chase. We are problem-solvers. We must be continuously tested and we continuously test ourselves. And it will not end until our lives end because of life itself.