115 Quotes by Art Buchwald

The things that matter most are not things.

Every once in a while your world stands still... There are certain friendships that are so important they leave a mark on you long after the person is gone.

As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.

People who live in glass houses have to wash their windows all the time.

When I got to the hospice I was under the impression it would be a two- or three-week stay. But here I still am, six weeks later, and I've gotten so well Medicare won't pay for me anymore.

There isn't a child who hasn't gone out into the brave new world who eventually doesn't return to the old homestead carrying a bundle of dirty clothes.

This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday, ... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security.

Then the question is, are we worried about the wishes of the patient or about the money involved?

Don’t commit suicide, because you might change your mind two weeks later.