29 Quotes by Art Donovan

I’m a light eater. As soon as it’s light, I start to eat.

The two saddest moments of my life were when my mother died and when I was told I couldn’t play football for the Colts anymore.

Well the frog men finally got Rosie.

I have no ax to grind. I was lucky. I played. How many guys play high school, college football never play pro football?

The best way to die is sit under a tree, eat lots of bologna and salami, drink a case of beer, then blow up.

Both sides of my family had come from Ireland in the 19th century for the same reason: There was nothing to eat over there. Since then, I’ve tried to make up for the potato famine by making the potato the only vegetable that passes these lips.

Broke my femur on a cruise with my wife in Italy. I’d walked back to my cabin after dinner with half a plate of spaghetti when I leaned in to open the door. Turns out it was already open, so I fell flat on my face like something from the Keystone Kops.

There’s a lady up in heaven who must be very proud of the way the people in Baltimore have treated her boy from the Bronx.

I never met a cold cut I didn’t like.