81 Quotes by Arthur Smith

An uninspiring canvas becomes a glamorous masterpiece when it is reattributed to a better-known artist.

Comedy ages quicker than tragedy, to the extent that we can't know if the 10 commandments may originally have been 10 hilarious one-liners.

I'm an armchair kind of guy, especially when it's raining, which it always is and always will be.

It's worth turning up to an awards gig if you know you've won one but, since you never do know, it's not worth it.

Reading the play at home, however fulfilling, can never be the vivacious experience that Shakespeare intended.

Travel books are, by and large, boring. They lodge uncomfortably between fact, fiction and autobiography.

It's the time of year when the literati give advice on what we should be reading on our summer holidays. These terrifying lists often leave me appalled at my own ignorance, but also suspicious about the pretension of their advocates.

A female friend who caught me watching Fashion TV reckons its audience is largely made up of slobbering men who are just taking a break from the appalling Men & Motors channel. I don't agree.

Give me the new thing and give it to me now. I don't want that old thing - I've seen it, heard it, bought it, slept with it, loved it, but now I'm bored with the old thing and I'm gagging for the new stuff.