571 Quotes by Augusten Burroughs

I don’t believe in the concept of a soul mate. Because we are all unique, but we’re also simply too similar.

Only by embracing all that you regret and not denying it, only by placing the highest value on what you’ve gained because of all you’ve lost, does regret lose the ability to cripple you.

Except this “if we’re meant to meet, we’ll meet” attitude isn’t truly relaxed. So we’re not going to commend you for it. This attitude is more passive than relaxed. A passivity born of entitlement. You are owed a soul mate; this has been promised to you since birth. Everybody knows that. So why worry?

Everybody in recovery smokes. If you don’t like smoking, don’t even bother trying to get sober. Just stay drunk.

Look for the ridiculous in everything and you will find it. – Jules Renard, 1890.

It turned out I had always been a smoker. I just hadn’t had any cigarettes.

There’s never a false note in a Berg novel.

I read a lot of science books – I love cosmology, quantum theory, particle physics. So my idea of a great read would probably put you directly into a coma.

Avoid self-pity by taking responsibility for everything that happens to you, even if somebody else is at fault. By taking responsibility, I don’t mean play doormat. I mean, repair yourself. Move forward. Move on. Then, only then, see if you can wrangle some empathy.